Thinking about a buddy of mine. She's unlucky in love, but an absolute genius on the ground, on the apps, on the DMs. Now, my friend is Manhattan-born ethnic white woman. By ethnic white woman I mean her family is not Latino or Irish and there are pictures of distant family on those Web 1.0 true crime sites. Puffy guys in fine suits. That shit. Not relevant. She's white. She dates men of color. Not in an artwerk666 way, mind you. Guys in finance, guys who own businesses.
Now, my buddy has a pair of black Air Force 1s she wears out on dates sometimes, with these guys. I am as far as possible from a Finance Guy, sure, but in my eyes that is one of the hardest moves someone in her position could pull. Because she's giving them a chance to stunt their intimate knowledge of black Twitter's universal truths. To assert that they know culture, in spite of their Jack & Jill origin story and the lacrosse scholarship. People are afraid to pull shit like that.
You go ham in the gym, you do barbell accessory exercises and film them for IG (as someone might film themselves skating a ledge), you train arms, you get your face laser blasted, you take subway ad pills to keep your hair, you buy APC at retail, you throw out your holey underwear, you talk about your hobbies, you go to the right bars and parties, whatever.
But do you have a low-risk little thing you do specifically for the sort of person you're seeking out? Do you know your star sign? Moon sign? Do you have a sport you feign interest in? Do you have a hobby you've picked up exclusively to meet people? Do you hate smoking? That's not what I mean. Not those things. We're trying to build relationships on honesty here. Courtship only needs a little deception, or even none at all. Imagine you two together in a week. 3 months. 6 years. Or don't. Now I sound crazy. What's gonna topple the house of cards? What isn't? "What isn't" is that beautiful, beautiful place where you can lie you fucking pants on fire. "What isn't" houses the things you can admit you fibbed about in their bedsheets on a slow Saturday morning.
Do you have a sound bite re: why you would convert to Judaism? Islam? Are you good at a bar activity even though it bores you? Alternatively, do you feign lack of ability in a bar activity to cross the touch barrier? Does skateboarding or something like it terrify you conceptually? In turn, are you chill about it interpersonally? A band they like - could you listen to them? Can you stand them? Could you stand at a post-hardcore show for two hours on a Thursday night? Reggaeton? A sludge metal show? 100 gecs tour? Lana? Folk-punk? How invested in pop culture are you? Do you have a favorite culture writer? Have you ever read a book? How's your dental health? Do you have a celebrity with whom you'd have a Kanye-style birthday? Mine is Alison Pill from Snowpiercer. I would not mention Scott Pilgrim once. Can you pretend you do not have an emotional attachment to Scott Pilgrim? To the point where you defended him to strangers at a party in September? Not the work itself, but Scott, as if he were a real guy? Have you had earnest conversations with friends where you argue that casting Michael Cera was a disservice to the work, especially considering how good the casting was otherwise? That Pilgrim is supposed to be reasonably attractive and lithe or whatever? That he's the best fighter in Ontario and a bassist?
Who's *gulp* your favorite superhero? I've yet to have to answer that as I don't work at a iPhone repair store (though I can do the screens real easy - just need a heat gun -and I am looking occasionally,) but mine is the Punisher. He's funny, and he's always written pro-cop but like the Wire.